this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
