Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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