My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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