Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
