"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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