I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i permit you to call me
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
