All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
