I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
