I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize