you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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