Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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