So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
