I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
