i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
