spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
