i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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