Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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