I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
