Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
