Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
