Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
