I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i barfeds in our rink
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
