This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
