drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can't turn off my feet"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
