He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
