Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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