she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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