trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
