just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
