i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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