Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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