there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
