lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
