the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
