they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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