when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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