She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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