she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
