i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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