I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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