Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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