Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
