So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
