Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
