This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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