I must be too annoying 4 u.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
