This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
