I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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