White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Terrible idea I love it
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
