I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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