Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
