the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Found the puke drawer
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
