Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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