he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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