It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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